1. |
Intro
00:13
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2. |
Illuminate My Soul
05:14
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ILLUMINATE MY SOUL
(© May 2003)
I’m so confused but I’ve got to say something, this silence is driving me mad
And I can find no piece of human creation to help me understand
It’s been so long I don’t know where to begin
“Start with where you are” she says, I’m craving icecream again
I didn’t make it to the party last night, I walked the railroad tracks instead
hoping their straight iron lines would bring clarity to my head
I watched the sunset trying to think how love might be like the ocean
Walked many miles, waited many days but I cannot escape this emotion
It’s like homesick, but I have a home
It’s like lovesick, but I have a lover
It is a longing for a connection I cannot seem to find
to illuminate my soul
I’ve worked so hard trying to find an explanation
Maybe I miss my mother, maybe it’s my hormones or the moon fluctuating
Maybe I’m hiding something from myself, maybe it’s just something I ate
Maybe it’s life, or life without something, guiding my way
Oh I feel homesick, but not for a place
I feel lovesick, but not for my lover
I’m just longing for connection I cannot seem to find
to illuminate my soul
I tend to think loneliness is product of our culture
we’re supposed to be so independent we never really learn to how to talk to each other
It doesn’t matter how many good conversations I have, or how many emails I receive
How the hell am I supposed to get through your walls when I cannot break them in me?
Because I am homesick, I thought I had a home
And I am lovesick, but what is love
when I am longing for connection I cannot seem to find
to illuminate my soul
I am just longing for connection I cannot seem to find
to illuminate my soul
Won’t you illuminate my soul?
I want you to illuminate my soul
Come on, illuminate my soul
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3. |
It Will Be
05:15
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IT WILL BE
(© December 2002)
I could not give you my word
and promise you are the one
So I fell for another
because my heart is still young
and hungry for experience
because I’m still unsure
of who I am and who I wanna be
and I’m not ready to close doors
Would you believe
we do find our soulmates
Would you believe
what is meant to be will be
So you fell for another
and now she’s making you so happy
and I lie here awake
and I worry
What if I lose you?
What if I lose me?
How will all this time pass?
And can I keep on believing
Do you believe
we do find our soulmates
Do you believe
what is meant to be will be
I will not forget the place we stopped above those rolling California hills
where the golden world lay before us -
a prophecy to fulfill
Then I drove into the night with the moon
and you asleep by my side
And I pray no matter what
you will always be in my life
Do you believe
we do find our soulmates
Do you believe
what is meant to be will be
‘Cause I want to believe
we do find our soulmates
And I want to believe
what is meant to be will be
It will be
It will be
It will be
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4. |
In the Morning
04:19
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IN THE MORNING
(© February 4th, 2002)
All the truths
That created my wounds
Were dug out today:
You are as you are
And I am as I am
And to save us both we can only separate
And in the morning
I will turn your ring around
your heart will be
Your own again
Long ago, in the woods
We never made a promise
We never signed a contract
But to the love we held
In our kiss beneath the rising stars
I will always look back, with joy
And in the morning
You will turn my ring around
my heart will be
My own again
I surrender, to grief
Over loosing you
As my love
My heart is raw
I feel so mortal
Knowing there will always be, another
‘Cause in the morning
I will turn your ring around
your heart will be
Your own again
Today we try, to bury and ignore
The conflicts and the casualties
Of our lovers war
To live the night, until June
Together and in love
Without fear
‘Cause in the morning
You will turn my ring around
my heart will be
My own again
Yes in the morning
We will be on our own again
Our own again
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5. |
Fantasy
03:51
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FANTASY
(© September 10th, 2001)
“Oh won’t you come to bed?
It’s been so long and I want you,”
that’s what he says
“Just put this thing on,
And do a little dance, now you’re perfect”
Now I’m his fantasy
But can’t you see? This is not me
I can never be
your fantasy
There are some of his drawers I never open
don’t ask don’t tell
Hidden there, are his fantasies
I do the best I can
to satisfy his desires
when they come
But can’t you see? Those girls are not me
I can never be
your fantasy
What do I agree to? What do I refuse?
What about my own instincts,
of what is right for me
Oh how I long to be
Good enough for you,
desirable, as just plain me
I guess I shouldn’t complain
I don’t want to cause no trouble
being a crazy hippie feminist
Oh no
Yet I can’t help but feel, it’s just not me
I can never be
your fantasy
No I will never be
your fantasy
I am too human to be
a fantasy
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6. |
Flying in the Rain
05:14
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FLYING IN THE RAIN
(© winter 1998/1999)
I’m riding a cloud
And I know it’s going to break
And I know I’m going to come down
down with the rain
Now here’s the question, I ask myself:
Do I give in to my desires?
Throw myself into the arms of the wind
and let her take me where she will
And go flying
In the rain, in the rain
Flying, in the rain, in the rain
It’s like waltzing into love
when you know you’re headed for sorrow
It’s like crossing a burning bridge
when you know it’s going to fall
And I’ll be flying
In the rain, in the rain
Flying, in the rain, in the rain
Dragon steam in frosty twilight
Stab your sword into my heart
I’m ready to die
At the breaking of the dawn
If only I can have one moment
One moment to have it all
If only I can have one moment
One moment to have it all
I’ll be flying
In the rain, in the rain
Flying, in the rain, in the rain
Flying… in the rain…
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7. |
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THE RIGHT TO SAY "I MISS YOU"
(© March 2005)
Lying next to him I wanted to touch his skin
I held my breath so as not to say something
Standing in front of him I wanted to let him in
I answered as he asked about my spirit
Sometimes nothing is the hardest thing to do
When your hand is on my knee and my lips are so close to you
I don’t envy any of us, for the lessons that we learn
I don’t like the way hearts, close up after they burn
Mmm mmm
I still listen to the tape you made I still think about
The way you fed berries to that little girl we met, so tenderly
You know you saved me that night when my other fell apart
letting me lie with you beneath the stars, taking me home far past the midnight hour
Did you know that when you showed me round your world, and pointed out the sun
All the shadows fell behind me
I don’t envy any of us, for the lessons we must that we learn
I don’t like the way hearts, close up after they burn
Do I have to take a turn?
What about the songs we sang all along the road, the maps we followed, what about the sand dunes and sunburn and that early morning in San Diego?
What about the gypsy girl in the Seattle market, what about the sound of technicolors, and coming back to say ‘I love you’, what about those letters we wrote all summer?
I am not satisfied, I should not mourn you like a lover, you were never mine
Do I have the right, to say ‘I miss you’?
I don’t envy any of us, for the lessons we must learn
I don’t like the way hearts, close up after they burn
I guess it was my turn
Lying next to him I wanted to touch his skin
I held my breath so as not to say something
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8. |
Never Been a Liar
04:23
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NEVER A LIAR
(© April 2006)
Everything is great in my life
I’ve got friends and confidants and confidence
When I gaze into the mirror I’m always satisfied
And I never look at other girls with envy in my eyes
I know just where I’m going and how I’m gonna get there
Happiness is always in my reach
I never get lonely when the day turns to night
and I never feel an emptiness without you at my side
CHORUS:
That’s not the truth, not quite the truth
though I have never been a liar
I’m feeling more and more like one
As time goes on I know fewer and fewer
With the courage, or the time, or the acceptance
To hear, the/my truth
I am a faithful partner, I don’t have any secrets
I never fall in love unless it’s convenient
I’ll tell you everything I ever thought or imagined
And I never flirt with married men
CHORUS
It’s complicated and messy, it’s not easy to say
It’s not always what we’d like it to be
But I’d like it anyway
I’d like the truth, I want the truth
Because I have never been a liar
And I’m feeling more and more like one
As time goes on
I want the courage, and the time, and the acceptance
To hear, the truth
To hear your truth
And to speak mine too
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9. |
Age of Disillusionment
05:22
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AGE OF DISILLUSIONMENT
(© summer 2004)
Just thinking ‘bout, encountering you again
has been the wind that has carried me through all these days
I’m not living like I used to
For I am never where I am, I am never where I am
This is the age of disillusionment
as all things must come and go
But now it’s time for someone else to find the hope and the beauty
‘cause I’m tired of being the fire and the air to keep it burning
CHORUS:
The world is on trial in my mind
and I need time
to be, to see, and to breathe on this,
to wander, to wander, and to be
on this side
Everything that should be wonderful
is failing to penetrate my feelings
Just the strings of a guitar and that milky way of stars
can still bring me to the soul of the world
I want the soul of the world!
“Where ever you go there you are” I hear his words
and I know I cannot leave here until I arrive
And of course I’d rather be Socrates dissatisfied
for oh I know these questions are the composers of my life
CHORUS:
That’s why the world is on trial in my mind
and I just need time, to be, to see, and to breathe on this,
to know to hate to have to hold to love to be on this
to wander, to wander, and to be
on this side
Nothing’s looking like it used to…
Nothing’s feeling like it used to…
This is the age of…
This is the age of disillusionment
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10. |
Ready to Travel
06:57
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READY TO TRAVEL
(© Summer 2003)
Man, I hate that question, “When you grow up, what are you going to be?”
And everyone has plenty of suggestions, like it’s a decision we all have to make
As if we can plan the path our lives will take
But I’ve been told, death may come sooner than later
But ok, I’ve decided what I’m going to do
All the wisdom tells me to follow my heart
And she has no long term plans, so you don’t need to ask
I am going to be the most conscious, loving, understanding, HUMAN, I can
And I will travel
For this life is the journey of the heart and the soul
That night was so beautiful, I just had to gaze at the stars
And we lay there in the meadow for hours upon hours
And I thought I might like to die just to be one with it all
so deeply the heavens called me into that sky I wanted to fall
And I began to travel with you
For I knew it was what I was meant to do
I know that sometimes ultimately we really are all alone
But I hope it’s not quite as bad as that sounds
Now I’ve seen the old ones all start falling down and I’ve watched love changing faces
But this is what it means to be
Nothing is good permanently
So I am ready now to travel with you
For I know it is what we are meant to do
Times like these I have to believe
That we are part of something grander than we’ll ever know
Maybe all I really want is all within me
And I think all I really need is already here
“There are two things every traveler must remember,” he told me
One, you will always return
And Two, you cannot fight the journey, so you gotta just let it carry you
You gotta just, just let it carry you
And I want to travel with you
For as long as it’s what we are meant to do
And I know a day will come when you or I must go
But for time in my life spent with you I am so grateful
To have traveled with you
To have traveled with you
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11. |
Parar Salir
03:51
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PARA SALIR
(© June 2004)
Para Salir necesitas recorder
que todo es temporal y todo es perfecto
Para vivir los sentimientos mas profundos
necesitas tener valentia para ser artista
CHORUS:
There’s one last full moon before I go
Take me down to the West Cliff
And measure how deeply my roots have grown
into this place, and my love for you
Para conocer amor verdadero
necesitas encontrar los que hablan su lengua intima
CHORUS
BRIDGE
No llores por lo que acaba
Sonrie por todo que occurio
CHORUS
Para regresar necesitas llevar contigo
nuestros recuerdos y sus deseos
CHORUS
(repeat)
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Amanda West California
For the seekers and the artists, the mothers, children and elders, for the ones who wonder, choosing the path less travelled, and the ones who listen with their whole heart cracked open, these songs are for you. Amanda’s music breathes mindfulness, medicine and magic. Distilled over a 25 year-long career of songwriting, touring, recording & teaching, this is the truth you have been seeking. ... more
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